29.6.10

number 2

prompt: a picture is worth more than a blank page. take out those dusty photo albums. pick out photo #14. count however way you like, but make sure you stop at photo #14. look at the photo for 2-3 minutes. then for 10 minutes, write all the feelings that photograph made you feel. don't censor yourself. just write.


briefly: this particular photo was taken, i think, in late 1992 or early 1993. i'm bad at telling children's ages by sight; oddly, especially my own. if i'm not mistaken, this was taken on easter sunday. now onto my "feelings."

first, humor. is humor even a feeling? i don't know, but my first reaction was to laugh. for three reasons: 1. my mom's huge, almost triangular hair is just too, too much. 2. the shoulder-padded dress is so 80s it's wonderful. and 3. i recently bought a hat that looks almost exactly like the one i'm wearing in this photo, only for my grown-up head. completely unwittingly, of course.

next, happiness. my mom is my favorite person and one of my best friends. this picture is a perfect example of one of the stages of our relationship. i see us moving out of the strict mother-daughter realm (her raising me and protecting me) and more into a matured, friend realm (i'm raised! i am me!). photos of her and i together never fail to make me smile.

followed by a twinge of sadness. i can't place its origins, but it's there. maybe it's the longing for "simpler" times; my loss of childhood or whatever. maybe it's because i'm pushing on my ear (when i was younger, i had awful ear infections. i don't remember them, but i'm told that i would scream non-stop for hours because i was in such terrible pain. reminds me of a million little pieces by james frey [warning: spoilers to follow]. his shrink in rehab linked his addictive, escapist personality to childhood ear infections that left him in excruciating, incapacitiating pain. i'm not making claims here, just connections). or, more likely, it's because it reminds me that i've aged, that my mother has aged. and that we will continue to do so until she dies or i die. until both of us die. as much as i am excited about my future, i am terrified of time.

but mostly it makes me smile.


*okay, i wrote for 12 minutes. i cheated, but whatever. i apologized.

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