1.5.11

ramblings of a semester untold, III

i'm walking down a path, looking upward to the horizon. past the tops of the trees -- with the last leaves of the season clinging to their branches -- i can see the backs of main st.'s buildings. a steeple towers over town hall and the dollar theatre. i push my sunglasses up on my nose and squint into the sun. i look to my right and see two squirrels chase each other around the trunk of a tree. i smile.

and then the path begins to turn. up a few yards i notice the beginning of a cemetery. when i reach the first headstone, i crouch to get a closer look. an elaborate sunflower is carved in one corner of the granite, and in the center, in bold, deep letters it reads: SAMANTHA 1990-2011 BELOVED DAUGHTER, SISTER, FRIEND.

"what. the. fuck." i think.

ramblings of a semester untold, II

how did we get here
our
lives intertwining
like
sleeping bodies
like
hands holding
like
barbed wire

our fights --
no,
our arguments --
no,
our discussions
clich├ęd

"i love you
but
i don't like you right now"

"give me some
time
affection
honesty"

"i hate you"

"elie wiesel said
something
about
the opposite of
love
not being hate, but
being
indifference.

i'll take it."



______________





_________________

ramblings of a semester untold, I

Sometimes when I stare at the night sky I pretend I'm a shooting star, I said. We both tipped our heads up and gazed together, letting the silence settle around us. Sometimes I think if I concentrate hard enough, I could disappear into space, she said.

I nodded.

9.2.11

rules

so i've had a months-long case of writers block, but have recently started making a list of rules for me to live by. here they are, for good or bad.


1a. respect others' opinions as though they were your own
1b. try to make others as comfortable as you are
2. don't make assumptions about things you haven't experienced
3. experience something new as often as possible
4. have wonder
5a. ask questions (even when they seem dumb)
5b. answer questions to the best of your ability
6. be in the moment
7. if you have extra, share
8. give people the benefit of the doubt
9. stay true to your word
10. express your excitement in seeing people
11. when you genuinely love someone, tell them
12. think before you speak
13. hold open doors for people
14. smile at strangers
15. be honest with yourself
16. sleep!
17. don't rush
18. do pointless things
19. don't shy away from appreciating the small things
20. allow yourself to fully feel your emotions
21. look at the stars; remind yourself that you are a part of something much larger
22. have spontaneous dance parties
23a. apologize sincerely
23b. don't overuse "i'm sorry"